Resources

Question: Talk about 'resources' in relation to your paintings. This could include emotional resources as well as physical resources. You could include thoughts about maintaining a sense of abundance when it comes to use of supplies, suspending concerns of scarcity or holding back out of fear of waste or overuse. 

For years I painted small and tried to use as little paint as possible to create a piece, acting on my resourcefulness and sense of preciousness. I can look back and see how fitting that was, how that mindset mirrored my walk through life. Messages like: don’t stand out or take up too much space; who are you to consume, to want; play by the art rules. I can look back and see how bottled up I was, a situation I still find myself in occasionally. We are always unbottling. Creating art is a great way to work on this, unleashing previously held stories about our worth and value that do not serve us, creating a visible representation of reactions to those small tales.

I am all for being aware of our use, especially when it comes to the earth and environmentalism, but it’s important to look at what our hesitancy to use too much paint, our aversion to working big, and our overall resistance to letting loose and allowing our art-making to spill forth is saying about our beliefs in our value, our self-worth and our messages as artists. After every painting session I use up as much paint as possible that is on my palette and brushes, sometimes starting a new painting just to divert the paint from going down the drain. I keep little pieces of paper that are somewhat interesting to use in collages. I look at old pens and bottle caps as etching and stamping tools. My studio is full! I hold this resourcefulness hand-in-hand with the idea that I also can use good paint and buy the big canvas because I believe in myself and my paintings.

We all want to live with the feeling of abundance, of having enough, of being enough. I know when I can exist in that state I feel expansive, more open to what is and the unknown, more loving. This doesn’t mean spending a lot of money. It’s something we can generate regardless of what art supplies we have in front of us. It is a mindset for sure. I still use pencils, paints, pastels that I have had since college. There is history living in these objects that reawaken every time I use them. I feel pride in how long they have lasted.

Living with the idea of scarcity is the opposite of abundance. This can be seen in regards to physical supplies as well as the idea that all of the art ideas are taken, there is no room for you in the playing field. Again, art can be made with simple materials. You don’t need fancy, unless fancy is what makes your heart sing! And the idea that there is not enough room to make your mark can leave you feeling depleted, uninspired and dead. Really, there is only your unique voice; no one else has it, speaks it, expresses it quite like you. We need to all reawaken to that idea. In regards to art, we all look at a vase of flowers and see something different…the colors, the shapes, the composition. We all may be looking at the same thing, but our unique perspectives, histories, beliefs and emotions are going to construe the vase differently. And that is so, so beautiful. I love when I am able to point out to my children the different ways of looking at things. Not because I want to be the all-knowing mother but because there rarely is anything that we can think or look at that doesn’t have multiple perspectives. That makes me excited.

Finally, holding back out of fear of waste and overuse….I read this statement and again it makes me think of how we view ourselves and our value. Especially as women, it is so easy to see our needs as not quite necessary and maybe too much. From an emotional standpoint, viewing our creations as a waste, as maybe an overuse of materials, can be a reflection of how much we value our voice. I know I wrestle with this concept often. Valuing voice. Seeing my output of art as important enough to take up space and materials. Seeing myself in that same light as well. It is a battle worth exploring and fighting, because everyones mark, artistic or not, is worthwhile and paramount to shaping the world we envision.

I would love to hear your opinions on resources, physical and emotional, how this relates to your life. Thanks for reading.